Theater V: Ted 2

Theater V: Ted 2

This week’s episode is all about justice and the civil rights of a sentient foul mouthed teddy bear as we talk about 2015’s Ted 2.  This time around, Ted and Tami-Lynn are married and looking to have a baby.  They have a few biological setbacks along the way, but their attempt to adopt a child reveals that Ted is not viewed as a person by the state and forces him to fight for his right to exist.  Ted has help along his journey to justice as his best friend John and his new lawyer Samantha are constantly by his side in the fight.  The movie is very silly and has a bunch of great one liners and hilarious scenes.  In what world does the governmental process move so quickly?  Why aren’t more people sympathetic to Ted’s cause?  What’s the deal with Ted’s guts?  Is there a brain in there that allowed him to be knocked unconscious by Donny?  Lungs that let him get high and a liver that lets him get drunk?  Will there be a Ted 3 someday?  This movie is worth the watch, check it out if you haven't already.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Robocop (2014)

Theater V: Robocop (2014)

This week’s episode takes us to Detroit in 2028 where crime is rampant and the future of law enforcement is a half-man half-machine hero named Robocop.  This 2014 remake of the Paul Verhoeven classic uses most of the original story, with a slightly updated twist, to tell the tale of Alex Murphy’s transformation into Robocop.  In this version of the story, a large multinational conglomerate called Omnicorp has created several lines of automated security drones to maintain peace and order in war zones throughout the world.  They have tried to get their robots onto the streets of America for several years but they are stonewalled by a congressional bill that bans the use of robots with deadly force from patrolling any city in the country.  They decide the key to getting into the American market is some type of human integration with the robots to help ease the worries of politicians.  Alex Murphy is chosen as the perfect candidate after he is maimed by a car bomb in front of his home.  Once he is reborn as a cyborg, Murphy decides to hunt down those responsible for his death but the trail may lead down a path that he was not expecting.  Why did they make this another story about Alex Murphy?  Couldn’t the story followed another officer’s transition into a robot peacekeeper?  Maybe an old west themed one called Robosheriff with Wyatt Earp?  Why wasn’t this an R rated film?  It could have used so much more violence and blood to help with the pacing issues.  Too many big name actors with too little to do.  If you really need a Robocop fix, you’re better off watching the 1987 version.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Beverly Hills Cop 3

Theater V: Beverly Hills Cop 3

This week Axel Foley takes us to Wonder World, the second most magical theme park in all of California, in the third installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise. The story begins back in Detroit when a bust gone wrong ends up with Axel’s captain being killed in the line of duty. The trail to find the killer leads to California and Axel wastes no time getting back to the land of sun and fun. Once there, Axel learns who the killer is and teams back up with Billy Rosewood to take down a counterfeiting ring operating at the amusement park right under Uncle Dave’s nose. With a little help from the lovely Janice and the always entertaining Serge, Axel is able to get the bad guys and save the day. Why did they try to make this a toned down version of the previous two movies? Why didn’t Axel know that Taggert retired? How doesn’t everyone in the Beverly Hills Police Department know who Axel is? Shouldn’t he be really famous after his actions in the previous two films? What happened to all the glamour and glitz of Beverly Hills? Where can I get an Annihilator 2000? This is the third best of the Beverly Hills Cop movies but it is still worth a watch if you have a few hours to kill. Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

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Theater V: Creed

Theater V: Creed

This week we’re going on a trip to Philly to get some quality training from a boxing legend in 2015’s Creed.  This is the most recent installment in the Rocky franchise and it follows Apollo Creed’s illegitimate son, Adonis Johnson, on his journey to become a professional boxer.  Adonis moves from LA to Philadelphia to get training and mentorship from his father’s greatest friend and rival, Rocky Balboa.  While in Philly, Adonis meets a lovely young musician name Bianca and romance quickly blossoms.  Eventually, Adonis is publicly revealed to be Apollo Creed’s son and he is sought after to fight the current WBC champion, Pretty Ricky Conlan.  As Adonis and Rocky are getting to work preparing for the big fight, Rocky has a health scare that puts momentary strain on their relationship before bringing them closer together than ever.  The story culminates with the biggest fight of Adonis’ life as he tries to prove his worth to himself and to the world.  This is a pretty good movie that hits almost all of the buttons for a quality Rocky flick.  Why didn’t Adonis, the wealthy kid from LA, get a better apartment in Philly?  What is the exact timeline of this movie?  Were those really Paulie’s dirty magazines?  Should they have trimmed a few minutes off of the love story?  Did the ending lead into a perfect setup for a sequel?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Return to Oz

Theater V: Return to Oz

This week’s episode takes us on a nightmarish journey to somewhere over the rainbow as we all...Return to Oz.  Several months after her magical adventure through the land of Oz, Dorothy is back home in Kansas but she cannot get her time in Oz out of her thoughts and dreams.  Her aunt and uncle are worried she may have lost her mind and send her to a special “doctor” for electronic shock therapy.  While at the hospital/asylum Dorothy befriends a mysterious little girl that helps free her from captivity and kickstarts her return to the land of the Emerald City.  When Dorothy arrives in Oz she has a new companion, Billina the talking chicken replaces the lovable Toto, and realizes that things in Oz are not the way she remembers them to be.  She quickly learns that the evil Nome King has conquered the Emerald City and imprisoned King Scarecrow.  Dorothy assembles a new group of friends to go to the Nome King’s mountain to rescue Scarecrow and release Oz from his dastardly grip. Who thought this was a good idea for a children’s movie?  It must be responsible for countless nightmares.  How quickly does time past in Oz compared to our version of reality?  Do you think Tim Burton saw this movie and said to himself, “I can do better.”? Why doesn’t Dorothy keep winding up Tik-Tok during every moment of downtime?  What kind of animal head was used to make Mr. Gump?  Why would they save Princess Mombi?  How much psychotherapy do you think Dorothy went through later in her life?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army

Theater V: Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army

This week we’re having a good time with our favorite cat-loving half demon in 2008’s Hellboy II: The Golden Army.  The story continues the with Hellboy, Abe and Liz still working to protect the world from supernatural beasts as part of the B.P.R.D.  Hellboy and Liz are having minor relationship issues due to an unexpected pregnancy.  To add to all the chaos they get a new commanding officer in Dr. Krauss, the superintelligent smoke monster.  Their mission is to stop Prince Nuada from getting all three piece of the magical crown that controls the indestructible mechanical golden army.  After meeting Nuada’s sister, Princess Nuala, Abe falls deeply in love with hear and his feeling may threaten the outcome of the mission.  This movie is really fun and holds up well on our most recent rewatch.  The monsters are cool and Ron Perlman shines as the perfect Hellboy.   Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Mad Max - Fury Road

Theater V: Mad Max - Fury Road

This week we’re on a journey for redemption with George Miller’s modern action masterpiece, Mad Max: Fury Road.  The story follows two tortured souls in Max, a road warrior who’s past haunts him to the point of insanity, and Furiosa, a hardened soldier that was kidnapped from her home as a child and forced to work for the evil Immortan Joe.  Furiosa sets out to save Immortan Joe’s prized “breeders” by taking them to her former homeland, the green place.  Once Immortan Joe realizes that his women are missing he focuses all of his power and attention towards getting them back.  During the turmoil Max and a young warboy name Nux join the ragtag group as all of them work toward a chance for peace and freedom.  This movie is amazing.  If you have not watched it before, do so right now.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: The Wicker Man (2006)

Theater V: The Wicker Man (2006)

This week we’re going on a wild goose chase to a creepy beekeeper island that is predominantly populated by women in the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man.  This movie stars the amazingly fun Nicolas Cage as a California motorcycle cop that is asked to help his ex-fiancee find her missing daughter.  He travels to a remote island in the state of Washington named Summersisle only to find that the inhabitants are unwelcoming and unwilling to help.  With each turn the story takes he seems further and further away from ever finding the missing girl or the truth about what is going on.  By the time he realizes the  women’s true plan for him, it is too late to save himself from...The Wicker Man.  Is this the most convoluted plan ever?  What’s with the pills Nic Cage keeps downing?  Why would you go to an island of beekeepers if you are deathly allergic to bee stings?  Why does he think that being a California police officer gives him the jurisdiction to do anything he wants without evidence or a warrant?  Why doesn’t he ever ask an follow up questions?  This movie isn’t that great but Cage’s performance makes it a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Theater V: Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

This week we’re going back in time with our favorite sex crazed and snaggle-toothed spy in 1999’s Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.  In this shagadelic sequel Dr. Evil has returned and he’s going back in time to steal Austin Powers’ mojo.  Austin follows him to 1969 and pairs up with Felicity Shagwell, an American super-spy with the hots for him.  They hunt down Dr. Evil and travel to the moon to stop his evil plan for world domination.  This film introduced the world to Mini-Me and Fat Bastard and we haven’t been able to totally shake them from pop culture since.  What exactly is the chemical makeup of Austin Powers’ mojo?  Is this one of the most misogynistic film franchises ever?  Why can’t Mini-Me talk?  What’s with the inconsistent earthquakes caused by Fat Bastard moving around?  Time was not very kind to this movie, but it still had a couple of laugh out loud moments.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater IV: The Last House on the Left (2009)

Theater IV: The Last House on the Left (2009)

This week, we’re taking a quick trip to our summer home to relax and enjoy some peace and quiet as a family.  Unfortunately when you staying at (the 2009 remake of) The Last House on The Left, the only thing to do as a family is get revenge on those who have wronged you.  This film is a remake of Wes Craven’s 1972 cult classic of the same name.  It tells the story of a family that is spending time at their summer home in a quiet backwoods community.  Their daughter Mari goes into to town to spend time with her friend Paige while she is working at a convenience store.  They go back to a young drifter named Justin’s motel room to get some weed and end up having a very creepy encounter with his family.  The girls are soon taken hostage and brutally attacked and left for dead by the gang of lunatics.  As luck would have it, the band of psychos happens upon Mari’s parent’s home while seeking refuge from a raging storm.  Mari is able to drag her wounded body back to her home and her parents soon realize that she was abused and violated by their house guests.  The rest of the story is Mari’s parents getting violent revenge on the people responsible for hurting Mari.  This one is not for the squeamish and could give you a few nightmares.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater IV: Taken 2

Theater IV: Taken 2

This week, we’re looking for a man with a special set of skills.  We need someone that can kick ass and rescue anyone from danger, except his ex-wife.  We need a man like Bryan Mills from Taken 2, and to be fair the other Taken movies as well.  This time around Bryan’s whole family is the target of the kidnapping and revenge scheme.  He is working in Istanbul and is joined by his ex-wife Lenore and his daughter Kim for a quick getaway.  While they are relaxing and trying to enjoy their vacation, the father of one of Bryan’s previous victims is plotting revenge.  They eventually capture Bryan and Lenore and Kim sort of helps set them free.  By the time the movie is over Bryan has filled a small graveyard with fresh bodies.  How much of a time gap is there between the first and second movies?  Why did Bryan bring his family overseas so quickly after the previous “incident” from the first movie?  Why doesn’t Kim understand why Bryan is so overprotective?  Why did such a small wound incapacitate Lenore for so long?  How is Kim such an amazing stunt driver, yet  she can’t parallel park during her driving test?  This is a perfect movie to have on in the background while you are doing something more important.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater IV: The Color of Money

Theater IV: The Color of Money

This week we’re looking to use our special talents to make a little extra scratch.  We’ve found an older wiser mentor and we’re off to find fortune and glory in Atlantic City just like Vincent did in this week’s movie, The Color of Money.  This is the sequel to 1961’s The Hustler and it is a very fun road movie with a wonderful cast and several iconic scenes.  In this story, Eddie is a former pool hustler that sees a great deal of talent and potential in a young man named Vincent that he decides to take on as a protege.  Vincent and his girlfriend Carmen are very small time and inexperienced in the world of hustling and Eddie seizes the opportunity to take them under his wing and make a little money for himself at the same time.  He convinces them to join him and they go out on the road to begin Vincent’s training.  The only problem is that Vincent’s immaturity and pride are constantly driving Eddie crazy and costing them money in the long term.  After being hustled by a small time guy at a local bar, Eddie decides it is time for the group to part ways and he begins to work at his own game.  After a nice practice montage Eddie goes off to Atlantic City for a final showdown with Vincent and to prove he still has it.  It is a really fun film even though it has a very different tone from the original.  If you haven’t seen both The Hustler and The Color of Money, do yourself a favor and take a sick day so you can enjoy two great performances by Paul Newman.   Thanks for listening to the show for the last 50 episodes!  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater IV: Hannibal

Theater IV: Hannibal

This week’s episode is all about change.  Changing the Oscar and Golden Globe winning lead actress, changing the Oscar winning director, changing the Oscar winning screenwriter and eventually changing the channel whenever you see the 2001 film Hannibal on TV.  This star packed sequel to Silence of the Lambs takes place 10 years after Hannibal Lecter’s escape from prison and finds him hiding in Florence under an assumed alias.  Back in the US, Clarice Starling is still an FBI agent and is being blamed for a botched sting operation that left several dead suspects and one dead cop.  She is pulled back onto Lecter’s trail by one of his old victims, Mason Verger; a former patient that is missing his face and seeks revenge on Dr. Lecter.  There’s also an Italian inspector that has a pointless side story to link things back to Florence so Clarice and Dr. Lecter can begin talking again.  This movie is so long and so convoluted that it is a waste of anyone’s time and attention.  Does Guinness really keep track of how many kills each female FBI agent gets in the line of duty?  Why didn’t Inspector Pazzi approach Lecter with much more caution after learning who he was and that he was on the FBI’s 10 most wanted list?  Why were Gary Oldman and Ray Liotta in this movie?  If they would have completely removed both of their storylines would the movie be any worse?  Does anyone remember anything about this film other than the brain eating scene?  Can you believe they made two more movies and a TV show in the Hannibal Lecter franchise after this piece of crap?  It was an obvious cash grab that resulted in one of the biggest wastes of a talented cast and one of the worst sequels ever made.  Please rate and review our show wherever you get it.  Have a great week!

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Theater IV: Oldboy (2013)

Theater IV: Oldboy (2013)

What would you do if you had 20 years alone to work on self improvement?  If you were Joe Doucett from Spike Lee’s 2013 remake of Oldboy, you would write letters to your daughter and turn yourself into a killing machine hell bent on revenge.  Joe was just your average early 1990s scumbag advertising salesman that had a less than stellar record as father and husband and was not too slowly drinking himself into an early grave.  After a night of ruining his career and wandering the city drinking like a fish, Joe wakes up alone in what appears to be a small motel room.  Joe quickly learns that he has been kidnapped, imprisoned and framed for his ex-wife’s murder but has no clue who would want to do this to him or why.  His only connection with the outside world is the television in his room that he uses to watch news shows and workout videos.  Joe eventually begins to plot his escape but is suddenly released from his solitary prison and sets out on a mission to get both answers and revenge.  While it might not be as good as the 2003 original, this film is still a fun revenge flick with a good cast and a crazy twist. Feel free to send us any questions or comments and make sure to rate and review the show wherever you download it.   

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Theater IV: Rambo (2008)

Theater IV: Rambo (2008)

This week we’re catching some snakes in the jungle, taking a humanitarian trip to Burma and then killing everyone in our path as we talk about 2008’s Rambo.  This is the fourth Rambo movie and it is probably the most violent film in the franchise.  This movie is crazy but also so...much...FUN!  It is probably the most amazing B level action movie ever.  The story catches up with John Rambo in the remote jungle near the Thailand and Burmese border where he captain’s a small boat on the river and catches snakes to get by.  A group of Christian missionaries from Colorado ask Rambo to take them up the river into Burma so they can provide aid to some local villagers.  At first, Rambo refuses to take them to the war torn area but after many requests from one of the missionaries, Sarah, he agrees to help.  After getting to the village, the missionaries are attacked and captured by a group of soldiers.  A group of mercenaries is then hired by the leader of the church to go in and rescue them and Rambo is asked to take them to where he dropped the missionaries off.  He takes the mercenaries to the last location he saw the group alive and decides that he is going along to help with the mission.  Eventually, they find and rescue the hostages and the most intense and bloody battle in any Rambo movie happens.  Surprise, Rambo wins and the bad guys lose.  Where does Rambo get his supply of HGH in the jungle?  When did he become a blacksmith?  How long do you think it took for them to write this movie?  Why don’t any of the mercenaries know who John Rambo is?  His actions in the first movie had to have been a nationwide news story.  Will Rambo part 5 go against the format and be about John and his dad reconciling their differences and running the family horse ranch as father and son (insert a terrorist plot in there somewhere)?  

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Theater IV: Police Academy 3 - Back in Training

Theater IV: Police Academy 3 - Back in Training

This week we’re taking a trip back to the 1980s with Police Academy 3: Back in Training, and it is just as wacky as we remember it.  The whole gang of cops and cadets are back for this movie and we get a few new characters as well.  Mahoney still leads the group but he isn’t as prevalent in this movie as he is in the others.  The whole story revolves around two police academies competing to not be closed down due to a lack of funding.  There is not a whole lot of character development in this one and to quote one of our guests, “Everyone has their trick and they all keep doing it over and over and over.”  We talk about crazy movie montages all the time and this movie is like one long 83 minute montage with a few moments of story sprinkled in.  Why didn’t they keep these movies as a R-rated series?  Why hasn’t Lasard been either forced into retirement or committed to an assisted living home?  What’s with all the racism and sexual harassment?  Mauser seems to think Lasard is incompetent, so why not just let him make his own mess instead of plotting against him?  Proctor was still pretty funny in this movie and Jones is always entertaining.  If you’re a Police Academy completist, then this should be on your list.  If not, just go watch the first movie again.  Have a great week!

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Theater IV: Total Recall (2012)

Theater IV: Total Recall (2012)

This week we’re not sure if we are a duo of fun loving freedom fighters or evil spies for a dictatorial government.  Maybe we’re both?  Maybe we shouldn’t have had to watch this movie; 2012’s remake of Total Recall starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.  The story is inspired by a Philip K. Dick short story and the 1990 Paul Verhoeven sci-fi classic by the same name.  The film follows Doug Quaid as he tries to understand the true meaning of a recurring nightmare and help find a sense of fulfillment.  He visits a company called Rekall that claims to be able to implant memories in people’s minds that will rival their wildest fantasies.  Just as Doug is about the got through the procedure, the police burst in and Doug’s journey to figure out his past begins.  He soon learns that no one in his life is as they appear to be and he finds himself on the run.  He meets up with a woman named Melina, whom he knows but cannot remember.  He is brought back to meet with the resistance and learns that he was bait in a plot to kill Mathias, the rebel leader.  Doug will not accept the things he is being told by his ex-wife Lori or the evil Cohaagen and decides to help Melina avenge her father and prevent an invasion of The Colony.  Why did they make this movie?  The 1990 version is so much better.  It looks like crap and you can tell the budget was spent on stars and special effects.  Thankfully there won’t be a sequel to this film.

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Theater IV: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Theater IV: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

This week we’re taking the whole family on a shortcut through the New Mexico desert so we can get to San Diego a  few hours earlier.  Oops, our car broke down and now we are being hunted by mutant cannibals.  We’re talking about the extremely unsettling 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes.  This film isn’t really a scary movie as much as it is a horrific series of events.  The basic idea is that nuclear testing in New Mexico created a bunch of deformed mutants that now live in old abandoned mine shafts in the desert.  They attack, rob, eat and do many other despicable things to any travelers passing through the area.  A family is unlucky enough to be passing through and we get to see all the bad stuff that happens to them.  Why would you leave your youngest child in charge of the rest of your family?  What’s with both Big Bob and Bobby both wasting so much ammo?  How many cannibals can you feed with one average sized family and for how long?  Why didn’t the director for this movie Google how many atomic bomb tests were conducted in New Mexico before littering the landscape with craters?  That fishing pole was a pretty nice find.  Do you think Doug ever told his daughter the story of how mommy died?  This is a crazy movie but it was actually pretty well done.  Luckily, there is a sequel that we can talk about one day.

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Theater IV: Toy Story 2

Theater IV: Toy Story 2

This week we were able to convince one of our mothers, Matt’s mom Kathi, to come back and talk about a fun Pixar movie, Toy Story 2.  The whole gang is back for this second installment of the Toy Story franchise and we even get a few new characters along the way.  Our story begins with Woody being very excited about going to Cowboy Camp with Andy, but a last minute accident causes Woody to be left behind at home.  While trying to rescue one of the other toys from a yard sale, Woody is kidnapped by Al the toy collector.  While in captivity, Woody meets Jessie, Bullseye and Stinky Pete who are all characters from the TV show Woody’s Roundup.  They explain that Al is going to sell the group of them to a Japanese museum that will allow them to be displayed and admired in perpetuity.  The rest of the gang goes after Woody to get him back from Al’s Toy Barn. Once they meet back with Woody they learn that his feelings about returning to his life with Andy may have changed.  This movie was really fun and very cute.  If you haven’t seen this one yet, call your mom and have a movie night with her.  You’ll both be happy you did.  Have a great week!

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Theater IV: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Theater IV: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

This week we are beginning our Mother’s Day celebration by taking our moms to the French Riviera to talk about 1988’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  This film tells the tale of two very different con men who make their living swindling women out of their money.  Lawrence is an aristocratic gentleman who believes in indulging in the finer things in life and believes in only taking from those who can afford it.  Freddy is a little rough around the edges and sees nothing wrong with taking from anyone to help him get what he wants.  The two con men eventually agree on a bet that would run the loser out of town and give the winner full claim to the town of Beaumont-sur-Mer.  They think they have found the perfect mark for their bet, but they underestimate what they have gotten themselves into.  This movie was lots of fun and holds up very well.  There are a few moments that might not hold up to today’s politically correct standards but none the less it was very enjoyable.  If you’ve never seen the film, it is definitely worth your time.  Have a great week and treat your mom to a happy Mother’s Day!

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