Theater VII: 12 Monkeys

Theater VII: 12 Monkeys

This week’s episode takes us down to the beautiful island of St. Thomas where we’re going on an adventure that involves lots of dancing, a wild treasure hunt, and a little bit of voodoo.  We watched Weekend at Bernie’s 2 and we can’t wait to tell you all about the continued hijinks of Larry, Richie and Bernie the Zombie.  The story picks up right where the first movie left off and starts running in an even crazier direction.  Bernie’s body is in a New York City Morgue and Larry and Richie have been fired from their jobs for their suspected involvement in Bernie’s embezzlement scheme.  The company puts Mr. Hummel on their trail in order to find the $2 million that Bernie stole before the company’s next shareholders meeting.  The cartel is also looking for that money and they have employed a voodoo priestess named Mobu to raise Bernie from the grave and lead her lackies, Charles and Henry, to the hidden cash.  Larry and Richie have a plan to steal Bernie’s body, take him down to St. Thomas and get the cash before anyone else can claim it for themselves.  Why is the smell of Bernie’s rotting body only mentioned once in the whole film?  How do Bernie’s sunglasses stay on the whole time?  How much fun is it to watch Bernie dance-walk everywhere he goes?  Do you think Brenda tried to do anything sexual with Bernie that night on the beach?  When will we get a Weekend at Bernie’s 3?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: Weekend at Bernies 2

Theater VII: Weekend at Bernies 2

This week’s episode takes us down to the beautiful island of St. Thomas where we’re going on an adventure that involves lots of dancing, a wild treasure hunt, and a little bit of voodoo.  We watched Weekend at Bernie’s 2 and we can’t wait to tell you all about the continued hijinks of Larry, Richie and Bernie the Zombie.  The story picks up right where the first movie left off and starts running in an even crazier direction.  Bernie’s body is in a New York City Morgue and Larry and Richie have been fired from their jobs for their suspected involvement in Bernie’s embezzlement scheme.  The company puts Mr. Hummel on their trail in order to find the $2 million that Bernie stole before the company’s next shareholders meeting.  The cartel is also looking for that money and they have employed a voodoo priestess named Mobu to raise Bernie from the grave and lead her lackies, Charles and Henry, to the hidden cash.  Larry and Richie have a plan to steal Bernie’s body, take him down to St. Thomas and get the cash before anyone else can claim it for themselves.  Why is the smell of Bernie’s rotting body only mentioned once in the whole film?  How do Bernie’s sunglasses stay on the whole time?  How much fun is it to watch Bernie dance-walk everywhere he goes?  Do you think Brenda tried to do anything sexual with Bernie that night on the beach?  When will we get a Weekend at Bernie’s 3?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

Theater VII: Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

This week’s episode will get your heart pumping and fulfill your need for adrenalin and danger.  We watched the 2000 remake of Gone in Sixty Seconds staring the always entertaining Nic Cage and the usually creepy Giovanni Ribisi as two car stealing brothers that need to steal 50 cars in one night.  The movie is filled to the brim with recognizable actors, many of which are useless to the plot or have nothing much to do while on screen.  The original 1974 film is known for having a wild 40 minutes car chase scene, and the car chases in this version are well done and fun to watch as well.  The story is a little shaky, but it is worth a watch if you haven’t seen it before.  Why did everyone act like the six years that Memphis was gone were the longest six years in human history?  How far away was Memphis living?  Couldn’t they have just visited him?  How do all of the former car thieves know all of the latest news and deals that are going down in Criminaltown?  Why are Castlebeck and Drycoff the only police officers that care about all of the cars being stolen?  What’s with fine woodworking being Calitri’s achilles heel?  Why did Castlebeck let Memphis go free at the end?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: Lethal Weapon 2

Theater VII: Lethal Weapon 2

This week we’re talking about one of the greatest buddy-cop movies of all time with one of our Jester Radio Network cohorts,  the host of B.A.D. Shorty, Alex Tsakanikas!  The movie is Lethal Weapon 2 and it is still one of the best films of the genre.  Riggs and Murtaugh are back and this flick is packed with action, comedy, more action and lots of good one-liners, including the best sequence in action movie history.  “Diplomatic immunity!...(exaggerated neck roll)...BLAMO!...It’s just been revoked.“  If you haven’t seen this one, go turn on your Netflix right now.  How detached is Murtaugh from the day to day life of his family?  What’s with Riggs and Murtaugh’s money situation?  Why does Murtaugh live in a very nice house and own a boat while Riggs lives in a dumpy trailer on the beach and has to dislocated his shoulder at work for extra cash?  If they wanted the South Africans to be nazis, why didn’t they just cast them as Germans?  Can you use your diplomatic immunity to kill a bunch of police officers and get away with it?  Could you pull a house down with a pickup truck?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Also, check out Alex’s podcast, B.A.D. Shorty, at http://www.yesiamshow.biz/bad-shorty/ and give him a rating and review as well.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: Hot Shots - Part Deux

Theater VII: Hot Shots - Part Deux

This week’s episode takes us on a mission to rescue an imprisoned rescue team that was captured in an attempt to rescue a group of hostages in great need of some rescuing.  All silliness aside, we watched Hot Shots! Part Deux and are ready to tell you all about Topper Harley’s adventure with his two girlfriends, Ramada and Michelle, and the elite special force or Harbinger, Rabinowitz and Williams.  They travel to the jungles of The Middle East to free Col. Walters and Ramada’s husband Dexter from the evil Saddam's prison camp.  They save the hostages and kill everyone else that gets in their way.  This is a very fun movie that is filled with enough jokes and gags to keep you laughing the whole time.  Could anyone make a movie this offensive now?  How did Topper go from fighter pilot to Rambo in a few short years?  Where can we buy ourselves some lucky beauty marks?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009)

Theater VII: My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009)

Happy Valentine's Day!  We love our listeners!  This week’s episode is filled with lots of heart, and all the other guts and stuff inside a person as well.  We’re in the holiday spirit as we talk about the 2009 slasher remake, My Bloody Valentine 3D.  This story is all about a crazy murderous miner name Harry Warden who has killed at least 22 people before going on a decade long hibernation.  10 years after his Valentine’s Day massacre, bodies start showing up that have been killed in a similar fashion to Harry’s victims.  The town sheriff must figure out who the killer is and stop him before it is too late.  Why doesn’t Tom constantly remind Sarah and Axel that they left him to die?  What are the pills Tom keeps taking?  How often does Sarah look at that picture of her and Tom?  Is this town populated exclusively by attractive young women?  Is Harry Warden The Flash?  The twist is really dumb, but the movie is lots of fun.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VII: Kong - Skull Island

Theater VII: Kong - Skull Island

This week’s episode is taking us to a a magical location in the South Pacific that is teaming with all types of strange and unique wildlife.  The place is Skull Island and its King is Kong, a gigantic ape that protects his subjects with his strength and cunning, in 2017’s Kong: Skull Island.  In this most recent update of the King Kong franchise, a group of scientists and military personnel embark on an expedition to a remote island in the Pacific to see if monsters really exist.   Spoiler alert, they do.  Once the team arrives on the island,  they quickly anger the mighty Kong and most of the rest of the movie is Kong fighting stuff and the people learning that Kong is a protector and not the real monster on the island.  In the end, we get a setup for a new monster movie universe.  The plot is a little thin, but the action scenes and the quality CGI really make this a fun watch.  How much food does Kong have to eat each day?  How exactly does a perpetual storm work?  How long were those villagers hiding in those ancient ruins before the group showed up?  Why did the soldiers think they could stop Kong with conventional weapons after he destroyed all of their helicopters in a matter of minutes?  It’s nice to see that Dr. Dre and Eazy-E were able to join us on the journey.  Second best Samuel L. Jackson death in a movie?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.  

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Theater VII: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Theater VII: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

This week’s episode takes us on an inter-dimensional trip through time and space with a couple of really good dudes named Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan. Their first adventure was excellent, but this time it is Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Bill and Ted are still good natured dopes that are struggling to get by and fulfill their destinies of becoming the most influential rock band in history. An evil villain from the future named De Nomolos wants to alter the timeline and destroy Bill and Ted’s reign of awesomeness and replace it with his own regime. He sends two evil android doppelgangers of Bill and Ted back to the past to kill them and change the future of the human race. Bill and Ted are killed by their doubles and must find a way to outsmart death and return to their mortal forms so they can save the babes and defeat their evil twins. How old are Bill and Ted supposed to be? Could anyone have played these two characters as well as Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves? What’s with The Reaper’s accent? So these guys are big time stoners, right? Who taught the princesses to drive and to play musical instruments? Where can we buy a grappling hook guitar? Station!!! Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

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Theater VII: The Italian Job (2003)

Theater VII: The Italian Job (2003)

This week’s episode takes us on a wild journey all around the world.  We get to see the liquid roads of Venice, the snow capped Austrian Alps, West Philadelphia (born and raised) and fabulous Hollywood, CA on our quest to get $35 million worth of gold bars in the 2003 remake of The Italian Job.  This modern heist film follows a group of thieves as they hunt down a double crossing former cohort that stole over 200 gold bricks from them and killed their friend John.  John’s Daughter Stella joins the gang as they track down their ex-ally Steve in California and plot to take back their gold.  The movie is very fun and filled with quality actors and fast paced action scenes.  Does anyone remember Napster?  Who told Edward Norton that mustache was a good idea?  Can Stella go anywhere in the world without every man that she walks past trying to sleep with her?  Why did they make Wreck a member of the group?  Everyone was pretty casual about handing Steve over to the Russians to be tortured and killed.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: It (2017)

Theater VI: It (2017)

In this week’s episode, we’re taking a look at a recent horror blockbuster, the 2017 remake of Stephen King’s It.  This film is the first chapter in a two part mini-series that brings the terrifying tale of Pennywise the Dancing Clown and The Losers Club to the big screen.  This updated instalment is a hard “R” with the appropriate amount of gore and uneasiness that would have been hard, if not impossible, to translate to primetime network television.  The story follows a group of seven friends as they try to solve the mystery of why children keep disappearing in their small town of Derry, Maine.  As the children’s  friendship grows stronger, they must face their darkest fears to save the city and themselves from Pennywise’s evil grip.  This adaptation was wonderful and captures some of the darker moments of the book very well.  If you are a horror or Stephen King fan, it is a must watch.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Problem Child 2

Theater VI: Problem Child 2

This week, we are taking a trip back in time to a magical land known as Mortville in the glorious year of 1991 with the least kid-friendly children’s movie we could find, Problem Child 2.  This slightly-modern day version of Dennis the Menace follows Ben Healy and his adopted son Junior as they move from their home of of Cold River to the divorce capital of the world, Mortville, OR.  Ben instantly becomes the most eligible bachelor in town when they arrive and Junior is not happy with his dad spending so much of his time dating all of the single ladies in the neighborhood. Junior spends lots of his time either trying to kill people or plotting evil schemes that could result in public shame or injury for his victims.  Eventually, Junior battles it out with the regional problem child champion named Trixie before becoming allies and trying to get their parents to marry each other.  Which character in this movie is supposed to be the likeable one?  Why didn’t Ben just return Junior to the orphanage and ask for a refund?   Can anyone explain the timeline of this movie to us?  Why are there no police in Mortville?  Where can we submit our screenplay for a Child’s Play vs. Problem Child film?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: The Hangover 3

Theater VI: The Hangover 3

Happy New Year to all of our loyal listeners!  This week we’re recovering from a wild night and hanging out with some friends as we talk about The Hangover Part III.  This third, and possibly final, chapter of the Hangover series follows a slightly different path from the two previous installments.  This time the gang is hunting down Chow and the $21 million in gold bars that he stole from an evil crime boss named Marshall.  Marshall is holding Doug hostage while Phil, Alan and Stu are tracking down the craziest chinese gangster of all time.  Eventually they find Chow, but can they trust him to be an ally or will he double cross them in their time of need?  There are lots of crazy situations and characters to fill the time, but for some reason the film falls a little flat.  Why hasn’t Alan been sent to prison for his involvement in the giraffe incident?  Why do they all treat Phil like he is the leader?  How is Chow able to lift all that gold with such ease?  Why wasn’t Stu wearing bandages after his boobjob?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Ernest Saves Christmas

Theater VI: Ernest Saves Christmas

This week we’ve reached an important milestone.  We are talking about our first Ernest movie with the delightfully festive and silly, Ernest Saves Christmas.  The story follows Santa as he travels to Orlando to find his replacement and pass on his magical powers.  While in Florida, Santa teams up with our loveable hero Ernest and Harmony a young girl who ran away from home.  They find Santa’s replacement, a Children’s TV show host named Joe and everyone learns a few lessons along the way.  In the end, Ernest helps Santa keep the spirit of Christmas alive.  Is Vern the most kind and patient man in the world for dealing with Ernest?  What is the highest grade level that Ernest completed?  Why does it take Harmony so long to believe that Santa is actually Santa?  Where doe Ernest keep all of his costumes?  We ho-ho-hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Vern.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Bad Santa 2

Theater VI: Bad Santa 2

With Christmas quickly approaching, we thought it would be great to catch up with old Saint Nick.  Unfortunately, the real Santa was a bit busy, so we’re spending time with Willie Soke and his gang of losers in Bad Santa 2.  This sequel picks up 13 years after the original film and Willie is still a depressing drunken loser living in Phoenix and occasionally spending time with his autistic buddy Thurman.  Early on, Marcus gets out of prison and reaches out to Willie to join him in pulling off a $2 million heist at a charity in Chicago.  Once in Chicago, Willie learns that his estranged mother Sonny is the third member of their crew and this creates all kinds of friction and comedic moments.  Eventually Willie is double crossed by his associates and tries to do the right thing in the end.  How is Willie still alive?  Why do women seem to find this foul smelling sauced up slob so attractive?  When do we get to hear about Sonny’s life as a criminal prior to giving birth to Willie at age 13?  Will there be a Bad Santa 3?  The movie is nowhere near as good as the original, but it was much better than the three of us expected.  Worth a watch if you a locked in a room with only a TV this Christmas.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Black Christmas (2006)

Theater VI: Black Christmas (2006)

The holiday movie festivities continue this week with the 2006 remake of the cult slasher classic, Black Christmas.  The story follows Billy, a deranged killer that is locked in a sanitarium for murdering his family, and The Delta Alpha Kappa house full of sorority girls.  The girls house used to be Billy’s childhood home and he wants to come back for a visit.  The girls get picked off one by one until there is a dramatic showdown with the final girl Kelli.  The movie is silly and has all the cliches of a 1970s or 80s slasher flick.  What is the backstory on Billy’s parents’ relationship?  How many times has Billy escaped prison on Christmas?  How big is the sorority house?  What do people cookies taste like?  Why did they get a male actor to play Agnes?  What’s with all the eye trauma?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Theater VI: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

The holiday season is upon us and we’re talking about the Christmas stoner comedy, A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  This is the third H&K adventure and it is also the worst of the bunch.  Harold and Kumar haven’t seen each other in several years but they are brought back together by a fateful package delivery and spend the rest of the movie looking for a replacement Christmas tree.  Why did they use so much 3D-in-your-face nonsense?  How does Kumar afford an apartment and so much weed without a job?  Why was Todd’s baby daughter so knowledgable about using drugs?  NPH was a real Weinstein in this installment of the franchise.  Why were Adrian and Todd in this movie?  There is some funny stuff that happens but most of the story is a big waste of time.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Bedazzled (2000)

Theater VI: Bedazzled (2000)

Have you ever thought about selling your soul to the devil?  Well, neither did Elliot Richards but the devil came to him with an offer to trade seven wishes for his one measly soul and he accepted.  This week we’re talking about the 2000 remake of Bedazzled starring the underappreciated Brendan Fraser and the extremely beautiful Elizabeth Hurley.  It is the classic tale of man being approached by Satan and tricked into signing over his soul to the devil, the difference here is that Satan is sexy and really has a soft spot for the guy she is trying to trick into eternal damnation.  The wishes all revolve around Elliot trying to make a woman he is stalking fall in love with him but they all have an unexpected twist that makes them less than ideal.  In the end, Elliot realizes that wishing for things will not bring him happiness, he learns a few life lessons and finds romance with his new neighbor.  Why did it take so much convincing for Elliot to believe she was the devil?  Why didn’t he learn from his first mistake and get more specific and detailed with his wishes?  Why didn’t anyone warn Allison about Elliot stalking her for the last several years?  What is Satan’s annual clothing budget?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: American Wedding

Theater VI: American Wedding

This week episode will look at one of the great American movie franchises.  Check that, we will be looking at a franchise with American in the title; as we talk about 2003’s American Wedding.  The third visit to the American Pie universe brings us to Jim and Michelle’s wedding and most of the beloved characters have returned to wish them well.  Jim is still a perv, Finch is still pompous, Kevin is still useless and Stifler is still the worst person ever.  Some of them have a good time, some of them have a bad time and some of them learn a valuable lesson.  In the end, Finch bangs Stifler’s mom again while Harold and not Kumar watch.  This movie is pretty bad and not really worth anyone’s time.  Why was it so easy for Stifler to get the school bus?  Why don’t any of them know Michelle’s parents or sister?  What reality do these people exist in?  So is Cadence into smart guys or dumb jocks?  Why can’t anyone just have a conversation about their feelings with anyone else that isn’t Jim’s dad?  Did Stifler go to completion with Jim’s grandmother?  Did Stifler drive back to his hometown to get the whole football team at 3am?  If you’re feeling the need to check in with these characters, please watch the original and forget the sequels were made.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Under Seige 2 - Dark Territory

Theater VI: Under Seige 2 - Dark Territory

Sometimes you just need a relaxing trip to get away from the worries of everyday life.  We’re taking a nice long train ride to help clear our heads and, lucky for us,  Steven Seagal is coming along to kick some terrorist butt in 1995’s Under Siege 2: Dark Territory.  This movie follows Casey Ryback as he travels across this great country with his niece Sarah.  His family vacation is interrupted when a group of mercenaries hijacks the train he is on and use it as a moving base of operations to control a weapon of mass destruction attached to a secret satellite.  Casey spends his time sneaking around the train and eliminating the enemy scum all while spitting out silly qwips as only Mr. Seagal can.  Spoiler alert, Casey kills everyone that comes in his path and saves the day.  This movie is the perfect example of a fun-bad film.  Is anyone better at making a bad movie than Steven Seagal?  I mean he has been doing this for 77 years!  How was the budget for this movie $60 million?  Why do they need to shoehorn the phase “dark territory” into the film so much?  Is there any way we can get a Nicolas Cage and Steven Seagal buddy cop comedy greenlit?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Next Friday

Theater VI: Next Friday

This week we’re taking a trip out to the suburbs to hang with our extended family as we talk about the very silly Next Friday.  Craig and his dad Willie are back in this sequel to Ice Cube’s hood comedy classic and Craig is moving out to Rancho Cucamonga. He moves out to the suburbs and in with his Uncle Elroy and cousin Day-Day to hide from Deebo’s planned revenge. Unfortunately, Craig still can’t keep himself out of trouble as he helps Day-Day with his crazy ex-girlfriend D’wana and tries to outwit the three Jokers next door.  He must find a way to help save his uncle’s house from the auction block and save his butt from Deebo and his brother Tyrone before the day ends or else all will be lost.  Why did they decide to take this franchise from realistic fiction to Scooby-Doo level wacky?  Smokey in rehab for weed?  To quote Bob Saget,  “Marijuana isn’t a drug!  Cocaine is a drug!”  Why did Deebo need a sidekick?  How many of Mike Epps’ lines were just him improvising?  If they make a fourth Friday, they must bring Chris Tucker back!  This isn’t a bad movie, it just doesn’t live up to the first film.  It is always on cable, so check it out when you have absolutely nothing better to do.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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