Theater VI: Problem Child 2

Theater VI: Problem Child 2

This week, we are taking a trip back in time to a magical land known as Mortville in the glorious year of 1991 with the least kid-friendly children’s movie we could find, Problem Child 2.  This slightly-modern day version of Dennis the Menace follows Ben Healy and his adopted son Junior as they move from their home of of Cold River to the divorce capital of the world, Mortville, OR.  Ben instantly becomes the most eligible bachelor in town when they arrive and Junior is not happy with his dad spending so much of his time dating all of the single ladies in the neighborhood. Junior spends lots of his time either trying to kill people or plotting evil schemes that could result in public shame or injury for his victims.  Eventually, Junior battles it out with the regional problem child champion named Trixie before becoming allies and trying to get their parents to marry each other.  Which character in this movie is supposed to be the likeable one?  Why didn’t Ben just return Junior to the orphanage and ask for a refund?   Can anyone explain the timeline of this movie to us?  Why are there no police in Mortville?  Where can we submit our screenplay for a Child’s Play vs. Problem Child film?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: The Hangover 3

Theater VI: The Hangover 3

Happy New Year to all of our loyal listeners!  This week we’re recovering from a wild night and hanging out with some friends as we talk about The Hangover Part III.  This third, and possibly final, chapter of the Hangover series follows a slightly different path from the two previous installments.  This time the gang is hunting down Chow and the $21 million in gold bars that he stole from an evil crime boss named Marshall.  Marshall is holding Doug hostage while Phil, Alan and Stu are tracking down the craziest chinese gangster of all time.  Eventually they find Chow, but can they trust him to be an ally or will he double cross them in their time of need?  There are lots of crazy situations and characters to fill the time, but for some reason the film falls a little flat.  Why hasn’t Alan been sent to prison for his involvement in the giraffe incident?  Why do they all treat Phil like he is the leader?  How is Chow able to lift all that gold with such ease?  Why wasn’t Stu wearing bandages after his boobjob?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Ernest Saves Christmas

Theater VI: Ernest Saves Christmas

This week we’ve reached an important milestone.  We are talking about our first Ernest movie with the delightfully festive and silly, Ernest Saves Christmas.  The story follows Santa as he travels to Orlando to find his replacement and pass on his magical powers.  While in Florida, Santa teams up with our loveable hero Ernest and Harmony a young girl who ran away from home.  They find Santa’s replacement, a Children’s TV show host named Joe and everyone learns a few lessons along the way.  In the end, Ernest helps Santa keep the spirit of Christmas alive.  Is Vern the most kind and patient man in the world for dealing with Ernest?  What is the highest grade level that Ernest completed?  Why does it take Harmony so long to believe that Santa is actually Santa?  Where doe Ernest keep all of his costumes?  We ho-ho-hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Vern.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Bad Santa 2

Theater VI: Bad Santa 2

With Christmas quickly approaching, we thought it would be great to catch up with old Saint Nick.  Unfortunately, the real Santa was a bit busy, so we’re spending time with Willie Soke and his gang of losers in Bad Santa 2.  This sequel picks up 13 years after the original film and Willie is still a depressing drunken loser living in Phoenix and occasionally spending time with his autistic buddy Thurman.  Early on, Marcus gets out of prison and reaches out to Willie to join him in pulling off a $2 million heist at a charity in Chicago.  Once in Chicago, Willie learns that his estranged mother Sonny is the third member of their crew and this creates all kinds of friction and comedic moments.  Eventually Willie is double crossed by his associates and tries to do the right thing in the end.  How is Willie still alive?  Why do women seem to find this foul smelling sauced up slob so attractive?  When do we get to hear about Sonny’s life as a criminal prior to giving birth to Willie at age 13?  Will there be a Bad Santa 3?  The movie is nowhere near as good as the original, but it was much better than the three of us expected.  Worth a watch if you a locked in a room with only a TV this Christmas.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Black Christmas (2006)

Theater VI: Black Christmas (2006)

The holiday movie festivities continue this week with the 2006 remake of the cult slasher classic, Black Christmas.  The story follows Billy, a deranged killer that is locked in a sanitarium for murdering his family, and The Delta Alpha Kappa house full of sorority girls.  The girls house used to be Billy’s childhood home and he wants to come back for a visit.  The girls get picked off one by one until there is a dramatic showdown with the final girl Kelli.  The movie is silly and has all the cliches of a 1970s or 80s slasher flick.  What is the backstory on Billy’s parents’ relationship?  How many times has Billy escaped prison on Christmas?  How big is the sorority house?  What do people cookies taste like?  Why did they get a male actor to play Agnes?  What’s with all the eye trauma?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Theater VI: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

The holiday season is upon us and we’re talking about the Christmas stoner comedy, A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  This is the third H&K adventure and it is also the worst of the bunch.  Harold and Kumar haven’t seen each other in several years but they are brought back together by a fateful package delivery and spend the rest of the movie looking for a replacement Christmas tree.  Why did they use so much 3D-in-your-face nonsense?  How does Kumar afford an apartment and so much weed without a job?  Why was Todd’s baby daughter so knowledgable about using drugs?  NPH was a real Weinstein in this installment of the franchise.  Why were Adrian and Todd in this movie?  There is some funny stuff that happens but most of the story is a big waste of time.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Bedazzled (2000)

Theater VI: Bedazzled (2000)

Have you ever thought about selling your soul to the devil?  Well, neither did Elliot Richards but the devil came to him with an offer to trade seven wishes for his one measly soul and he accepted.  This week we’re talking about the 2000 remake of Bedazzled starring the underappreciated Brendan Fraser and the extremely beautiful Elizabeth Hurley.  It is the classic tale of man being approached by Satan and tricked into signing over his soul to the devil, the difference here is that Satan is sexy and really has a soft spot for the guy she is trying to trick into eternal damnation.  The wishes all revolve around Elliot trying to make a woman he is stalking fall in love with him but they all have an unexpected twist that makes them less than ideal.  In the end, Elliot realizes that wishing for things will not bring him happiness, he learns a few life lessons and finds romance with his new neighbor.  Why did it take so much convincing for Elliot to believe she was the devil?  Why didn’t he learn from his first mistake and get more specific and detailed with his wishes?  Why didn’t anyone warn Allison about Elliot stalking her for the last several years?  What is Satan’s annual clothing budget?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: American Wedding

Theater VI: American Wedding

This week episode will look at one of the great American movie franchises.  Check that, we will be looking at a franchise with American in the title; as we talk about 2003’s American Wedding.  The third visit to the American Pie universe brings us to Jim and Michelle’s wedding and most of the beloved characters have returned to wish them well.  Jim is still a perv, Finch is still pompous, Kevin is still useless and Stifler is still the worst person ever.  Some of them have a good time, some of them have a bad time and some of them learn a valuable lesson.  In the end, Finch bangs Stifler’s mom again while Harold and not Kumar watch.  This movie is pretty bad and not really worth anyone’s time.  Why was it so easy for Stifler to get the school bus?  Why don’t any of them know Michelle’s parents or sister?  What reality do these people exist in?  So is Cadence into smart guys or dumb jocks?  Why can’t anyone just have a conversation about their feelings with anyone else that isn’t Jim’s dad?  Did Stifler go to completion with Jim’s grandmother?  Did Stifler drive back to his hometown to get the whole football team at 3am?  If you’re feeling the need to check in with these characters, please watch the original and forget the sequels were made.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Under Seige 2 - Dark Territory

Theater VI: Under Seige 2 - Dark Territory

Sometimes you just need a relaxing trip to get away from the worries of everyday life.  We’re taking a nice long train ride to help clear our heads and, lucky for us,  Steven Seagal is coming along to kick some terrorist butt in 1995’s Under Siege 2: Dark Territory.  This movie follows Casey Ryback as he travels across this great country with his niece Sarah.  His family vacation is interrupted when a group of mercenaries hijacks the train he is on and use it as a moving base of operations to control a weapon of mass destruction attached to a secret satellite.  Casey spends his time sneaking around the train and eliminating the enemy scum all while spitting out silly qwips as only Mr. Seagal can.  Spoiler alert, Casey kills everyone that comes in his path and saves the day.  This movie is the perfect example of a fun-bad film.  Is anyone better at making a bad movie than Steven Seagal?  I mean he has been doing this for 77 years!  How was the budget for this movie $60 million?  Why do they need to shoehorn the phase “dark territory” into the film so much?  Is there any way we can get a Nicolas Cage and Steven Seagal buddy cop comedy greenlit?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Next Friday

Theater VI: Next Friday

This week we’re taking a trip out to the suburbs to hang with our extended family as we talk about the very silly Next Friday.  Craig and his dad Willie are back in this sequel to Ice Cube’s hood comedy classic and Craig is moving out to Rancho Cucamonga. He moves out to the suburbs and in with his Uncle Elroy and cousin Day-Day to hide from Deebo’s planned revenge. Unfortunately, Craig still can’t keep himself out of trouble as he helps Day-Day with his crazy ex-girlfriend D’wana and tries to outwit the three Jokers next door.  He must find a way to help save his uncle’s house from the auction block and save his butt from Deebo and his brother Tyrone before the day ends or else all will be lost.  Why did they decide to take this franchise from realistic fiction to Scooby-Doo level wacky?  Smokey in rehab for weed?  To quote Bob Saget,  “Marijuana isn’t a drug!  Cocaine is a drug!”  Why did Deebo need a sidekick?  How many of Mike Epps’ lines were just him improvising?  If they make a fourth Friday, they must bring Chris Tucker back!  This isn’t a bad movie, it just doesn’t live up to the first film.  It is always on cable, so check it out when you have absolutely nothing better to do.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater VI: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

Theater VI: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

Scary Movie Month is coming to a close.  One might even say it is the closing chapter of our holiday themed month, which would be quite a coincidence because we’re talking about Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.  In this fourth installment of the Friday the 13th franchise, a group of campers go to Crystal Lake for a relaxing vacation filled with fun and sex but Jason has a different set of activities planned for them.  This is the movie that introduces Tommy Jarvis and his family to the party and kills one of them very unceremoniously.  Everything in this movie is turned up to eleven because in 1984 they truly thought this would be the final film in the series.  What was with the hitchhiker and her banana?  Is there a better dancer than Crispin Glover on this or any other planet?  Why wasn’t Trish concerned by Rob’s strange line of questions?  Did Gordon commit suicide at the end of this movie?  How long did it take Tommy to transform himself into the weird young Jason monster he was at the end?  The movie actually holds up very well and is worth a rewatch if you haven’t seen it recently.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.    

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Theater VI: Maniac Cop 2

Theater VI: Maniac Cop 2

In this spooky episode we’re going on a ride-along with everybody’s favorite undead cop, Matt Cordell, in Maniac Cop 2.  This movie picks up right where the story left off in the first flick and turns the crazy up to eleven.  Matt Cordell survived what was thought to be his second death in the first film and quickly continues his death spree on the streets of New York.  He kills all of the returning characters from the first movie and then teams up with a serial killer that looks alot like Charles Manson.  Eventually he is given a chance to redeem his good name and to be laid to rest...or is he?  This movie is a B movie classic and is worth the 90 minute runtime.   Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Martyrs (2015)

Theater V: Martyrs (2015)

This week’s episode is all about friendship and helping each other through the hard times in life as we talk about the remake of Martyrs.  This movie tells the story of Lucy and Anna, two young women that have been friends since they met at an orphanage as children.  Lucy had it pretty rough before she met Anna, but ever since they met Anna has been Lucy’s rock of support.  When Lucy grows up, she decides to get revenge on the people that hurt her as a child and she drags Anna into the situation with her.  Anna eventually learns that the stories Lucy has been telling have been true and she must find a way to free them from this horrific situation before it is too late.  You have to give them credit for what they did with such a small budget, but the acting in this film could use a little work.  It is crazy to think that this is a toned down version of the original film.  What’s with all the time jumps?  How long did the girls spend at the Patterson's’ house?  Who was the girl that Anna was going to leave behind?  How long was that drain pipe?  This is a quick movie that takes the viewer for a bunch of gorey twists and turns, check it out.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Maniac (2013)

Theater V: Maniac (2013)

This week we’re looking at the world through the eyes of a madman in the 2012 remake of Maniac.  This POV horror film follows Frank, a lunatic with a strange fascination with mannequins, as he stalks and kills his victims in the LA night.  Each new twist and turn in the film takes us deeper into the world of this psychotic killer as his mania pushes him further and further from reality.  How did Frank’s mom die?  How long has his killing spree lasted?  Wouldn’t he get some kind of poisoning from too much exposure to Raid?  How bad must his home smell?  The deaths in this movie are really gruesome and it is a good watch if you’re looking to be creeped out.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Child's Play 2

Theater V: Child's Play 2

This week we’re kicking off scary movie month with everyone’s favorite killer doll, Chucky, in 1990’s Child’s Play 2.  In this spooky sequel, Chucky is brought back to life and continues his attempt to put his soul into Andy’s body while killing several people along his journey.  Andy’s mom is in an insane asylum and Andy has moved in with the Simpsons, a foster family that has taken him and a teenage girl named Kyle into their home.  Andy keeps trying to warn everyone about Chucky’s actions and his eventual return, but no one believes him and they all dismiss his stories as make-believe.  Chucky does make his way to the Simpson’s house and wastes little time attempting to get his soul into Andy’s body.  He eventually starts killing everyone in his path and comes to a final showdown with Andy and Kyle.  How long was Chucky’s charred body being held by the toy company before they decided to clean and repair it?  Did the Simpsons just show up at the orphanage to do some window shopping?  What kind of orphanage was Susan’s mother running?  Wouldn’t Andy’s story become more believable as the body count continued to grow?  Why was the warehouse of the toy factory setup like a maze?  Have any other movies had special made-for-TV alternate endings?  This is one of the better horror franchises from the 1980s and if you haven’t seen this sequel yet, now is a s good a time as any to enjoy some wisecracking horror.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Riddick

Theater V: Riddick

This week, we’re trapped on a deserted planet filled will all types of violent monsters with only our loyal zebra-hyena dog to keep us company in Vin Diesel’s modern classic Riddick.  This third installment in the Riddick series finds Riddick all alone and left for dead on a remote planet.  He tries to find a way off the strange world by triggering a beacon and calling for any ship that he can use as a “taxi” to his freedom.  The message is received by two groups of bounty hunters that are seeking a dead Riddick to return for a large reward.  Once they arrive, Riddick begins hunting them down in an attempt to take one of their ships and escape from his planetary prison.  Eventually they must all work together to escape the monsters that are trying to kill and consume them all.  This is a fun ride and it is always great to see an R rated mainstream scifi film.  Can you list all of Riddick’s superpowers?  Would Vin Diesel really be homeless if this movie had flopped?  How many times is Dahl almost raped in this film?  Do the scorpions follow the rain or do they appear from the desert sands like evil flowers once water hits the ground?  Are you as excited for the fourth movie as we are?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Ted 2

Theater V: Ted 2

This week’s episode is all about justice and the civil rights of a sentient foul mouthed teddy bear as we talk about 2015’s Ted 2.  This time around, Ted and Tami-Lynn are married and looking to have a baby.  They have a few biological setbacks along the way, but their attempt to adopt a child reveals that Ted is not viewed as a person by the state and forces him to fight for his right to exist.  Ted has help along his journey to justice as his best friend John and his new lawyer Samantha are constantly by his side in the fight.  The movie is very silly and has a bunch of great one liners and hilarious scenes.  In what world does the governmental process move so quickly?  Why aren’t more people sympathetic to Ted’s cause?  What’s the deal with Ted’s guts?  Is there a brain in there that allowed him to be knocked unconscious by Donny?  Lungs that let him get high and a liver that lets him get drunk?  Will there be a Ted 3 someday?  This movie is worth the watch, check it out if you haven't already.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Robocop (2014)

Theater V: Robocop (2014)

This week’s episode takes us to Detroit in 2028 where crime is rampant and the future of law enforcement is a half-man half-machine hero named Robocop.  This 2014 remake of the Paul Verhoeven classic uses most of the original story, with a slightly updated twist, to tell the tale of Alex Murphy’s transformation into Robocop.  In this version of the story, a large multinational conglomerate called Omnicorp has created several lines of automated security drones to maintain peace and order in war zones throughout the world.  They have tried to get their robots onto the streets of America for several years but they are stonewalled by a congressional bill that bans the use of robots with deadly force from patrolling any city in the country.  They decide the key to getting into the American market is some type of human integration with the robots to help ease the worries of politicians.  Alex Murphy is chosen as the perfect candidate after he is maimed by a car bomb in front of his home.  Once he is reborn as a cyborg, Murphy decides to hunt down those responsible for his death but the trail may lead down a path that he was not expecting.  Why did they make this another story about Alex Murphy?  Couldn’t the story followed another officer’s transition into a robot peacekeeper?  Maybe an old west themed one called Robosheriff with Wyatt Earp?  Why wasn’t this an R rated film?  It could have used so much more violence and blood to help with the pacing issues.  Too many big name actors with too little to do.  If you really need a Robocop fix, you’re better off watching the 1987 version.  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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Theater V: Beverly Hills Cop 3

Theater V: Beverly Hills Cop 3

This week Axel Foley takes us to Wonder World, the second most magical theme park in all of California, in the third installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise. The story begins back in Detroit when a bust gone wrong ends up with Axel’s captain being killed in the line of duty. The trail to find the killer leads to California and Axel wastes no time getting back to the land of sun and fun. Once there, Axel learns who the killer is and teams back up with Billy Rosewood to take down a counterfeiting ring operating at the amusement park right under Uncle Dave’s nose. With a little help from the lovely Janice and the always entertaining Serge, Axel is able to get the bad guys and save the day. Why did they try to make this a toned down version of the previous two movies? Why didn’t Axel know that Taggert retired? How doesn’t everyone in the Beverly Hills Police Department know who Axel is? Shouldn’t he be really famous after his actions in the previous two films? What happened to all the glamour and glitz of Beverly Hills? Where can I get an Annihilator 2000? This is the third best of the Beverly Hills Cop movies but it is still worth a watch if you have a few hours to kill. Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends. Have a great week.

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Theater V: Creed

Theater V: Creed

This week we’re going on a trip to Philly to get some quality training from a boxing legend in 2015’s Creed.  This is the most recent installment in the Rocky franchise and it follows Apollo Creed’s illegitimate son, Adonis Johnson, on his journey to become a professional boxer.  Adonis moves from LA to Philadelphia to get training and mentorship from his father’s greatest friend and rival, Rocky Balboa.  While in Philly, Adonis meets a lovely young musician name Bianca and romance quickly blossoms.  Eventually, Adonis is publicly revealed to be Apollo Creed’s son and he is sought after to fight the current WBC champion, Pretty Ricky Conlan.  As Adonis and Rocky are getting to work preparing for the big fight, Rocky has a health scare that puts momentary strain on their relationship before bringing them closer together than ever.  The story culminates with the biggest fight of Adonis’ life as he tries to prove his worth to himself and to the world.  This is a pretty good movie that hits almost all of the buttons for a quality Rocky flick.  Why didn’t Adonis, the wealthy kid from LA, get a better apartment in Philly?  What is the exact timeline of this movie?  Were those really Paulie’s dirty magazines?  Should they have trimmed a few minutes off of the love story?  Did the ending lead into a perfect setup for a sequel?  Thank you for all of the love you continue to show us.  Please rate and review the podcast wherever you get it and if you like the show, share it with your friends.  Have a great week.

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